Independence Day Celebration Tips For Libs

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Independence Day Celebration Tips For Libs

Post by Riddick » 07-02-2018 08:44 PM

With displays of American patriotism, liberals are never comfortable ; as Broadly assistant editor Leila Ettachfini declares, “America has always been bad, no matter who the president is or was.” But even in 2018, there are ways conscientious lefties can observe Independence Day, as Ettachfini has authored an article titled “How to Celebrate the 4th of July When America is a Constant Disappointment.”

Like any good liberal, she suggests celebrating Independence Day by ruining everybody else’s. Her tips include shoving petitions into people’s faces while they are trying to enjoy time with their family, because “deporting kids who’ve never lived anywhere else should get on their nerves more!!”

She advises that “if you sense that you’ve been invited to a patriotic party where you’ll be expected to wear red, white and blue—and all but make out with the American flag—feel free to ditch it.” (One gets the sense Ettachfini doesn’t get invited to many of those parties. Or any, really.)

But if you are planning a party be sure to “look at your guest list” because “if it’s homogeneous in race, gender, and/or sexuality” you should “question why.” Because nothing is more American than inviting someone because of their race to meet party quotas.

A few of her other suggestions include:
  • Small talk sucks. Ask fellow guests if they’re registered to vote, and tell them how to do that if they don’t know.
  • Dishes aren’t fun, but take one for the environment and avoid paper and plastic waste. Climate change is real, even if the president begs to differ.
  • Reach out to your local mosque, Black Lives Matter chapter, or LGBTQ center to see if and how they can use your help organizing or celebrating this Fourth.
Or see if they can send over some token members to fill out your party diversity quota.

This 4th the enlightened progressive should, "as opposed to the malignant, distorted view of it propounded by Donald J. Trump," ponder the “true meaning of American patriotism" says former Clinton Secretary of Labor Robert Reich—He prefers patriotism is a bit more bolshevik in tone. Yes, believe it or not to Reich, being patriotic means being a good liberal.

So there you have it. If you can even deign to acknowledge this horrible country in this horrible time with a horrible president and horrible Republicans and voter suppression and racism, sexism and people being mean to transgenders and trees and the climate, you can at least signal your virtue by raining on everyone else’s Independence Day.


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Re: Independence Day Celebration Tips For Libs

Post by Doka » 07-03-2018 12:46 AM

How Gauche!

adjective \ ˈgōsh \

gauche Synonyms

awkward, clumsy, graceless, inelegant, rough-hewn, rustic (also rustical), stiff, stilted, uncomfortable, uneasy, ungraceful, wooden
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