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by Riddick » 07-24-2010 06:39 PM
A Guide to the Immutable Laws of Politics
To understand what's happening in American politics it's essential to look beyond the news interviews and press releases to identify the immutable laws that govern the behavior of politicians, just as the laws of physics explain the activities of electrons. Here are some laws which attempt to do for politics what Newton did for gravity and Pythagoras did for triangles:
Hall's Laws of Politics
1. Voters want fewer taxes and more spending.
2. Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed.
3. Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own districts).
H. L. Mencken's Law: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.
Martin's Extension: Those who cannot teach, administrate.
Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
David Broder's Law:
Anyone who wants the presidency enough that he will spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
John Dean's Law of D.C.
Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.
Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics
1. Get elected.
2. Get re-elected.
3. Don't get mad, get even.
Evans' Law of Political Perfidy
When our friends get into power, they aren't our friends anymore.
Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom
Anyone who says he isn't going to resign, four times, definitely will.
O'Brien's First Law of Politics:
The more campaigning, the better.
Cohen's Laws of Politics:
Law of Alienation:
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
Law of Competition:
The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a nonthreatening incompetence.
Law of Inside Dope:
There are many inside dopes in politics and government.
Law of Lawmaking:
Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.
Law of Secrecy:
The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.
Law of Wealth:
Victory goes to the candidate with the most accumulated or contributed wealth who has the financial resources to convince the middle class and poor that he will be on their side.
Law of Wisdom:
Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.
Michels’ Law:
All forms of organization, regardless of how democratic or autocratic they may be at the start, will eventually and inevitably develop into oligarchies.
Pournelle’s Iron Law:
Any bureaucratic organization has two kinds of people: those who work to further the organization's actual goals, and those who work for the organization itself. An education example would be teachers who work and sacrifice to teach children vs. union reps who work to protect any teacher, including the most incompetent. In all cases, the second type of person will always gain control of the organization, and will always write the rules under which the organization functions.
Joan Beck's Laws of Political Campaigns
Law of Gestures:
A candidate's gestures increase in direct proportion to the number of his media consultants.
Law of Expenses:
Campaign expenses always rise to exceed contributions.
Law of Speech:
How much a candidate says about the real issues varies in inverse proportion to the number of reporters covering his speech.
Law of Image:
In political campaigns, an ounce of image is worth a pound of ideas.
Law of TV Time:
Campaigning expands to fill the TV time available.
Law of Flubs:
The easiest way for a candidate to make the evening news is to tell a racist or sexist joke that's overheard or to inadvertently insult an ethnic group.
Law of Budget Deficits:
The seriousness of the budget deficit varies with incumbency. For example, Democratic party politicians saw far more economic peril in the Bush 43 administration's fiscal shortfalls than they do now with the Obama administration's much larger deficits; in a similar fashion GOP politicians had been much more concerned over Carter administration deficits than those amassed during Reagan's term of office.
Law of Bureaucratic Immutability:
No matter who gets elected, the bureaucracy won't budge.
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