Political Humor

[Riddick]

Check out Arlo & Janis' 25th Anniversary Celebration @ http://arloandjanis.com/

[Riddick]

[Riddick]

Would you believe... Obama: The New King Tut?
CNN VIDEO: Obama compared to pharaoh

BARACK-TUT
(to the tune of King Tut)

(Barack-Tut)
(Barack-Tut)
Now when he was a young man,
He someday hoped to be
A ruler as revered
As any ancient king

(Barack-Tut)
Some would say he's spunky
(Barack-Tut)
Others think he's clunky

(Was he Kenyan-born?
He gets a lot of scorn, Barack-Tut)

(Barack-Tut)
Could be if he'd known,
Halfway thru his first term
How unpopular he'd be
He'd never left the law firm

(Barack-Tut)
His policies are wonky
(Barack-Tut)
He's a Democratic donkey

(Guard the border zone-a?
No way in Arizona, Barack-Tut)

Though some dislike his style
(Government-enhancing)
With a wink and a smile
(Foxy Tut)
And no small bit of guile
(Haughty Strut)
You'll get a quick denial
He's given his life to Statism

(Barack, Tut. Barack, Tut . . .)
What'd you expect?
(Barack, Tut. Barack, Tut . . .)
He's an Elitist!
They don't care about you
(Barack-Tut)



Though in the last election
He ran on Change and Hope
Some folks have had enough
And are ready to say NOPE !

(Barack-Tut)
His party's got the blues -
(Barack-Tut)
How bad they gonna lose?

(Will it be a quashing,
Or a major squashing -

A rejection of direction
Through Congressional selection!

BARACK TUT)

[MickMack]

Found this item sold online ...

[Riddick]

Y'know there's not much interest in restraint in DC these days;
besides bank & business bailouts, they're prime pork producers
- it's too bad we're effectively stuck with only the two parties.

Government's a farce. You gotta laff at times. They want us to
take what they do seriously? Seems to me it all makes as much
sense as a Marx Brothers movie:

"The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it

If you think this country's bad off now,
Just wait 'til I get through with it"

- Groucho Marx as President Rufus T. Firefly of Freedonia,
from the movie DUCK SOUP

On that note, Welcome to the United States of FREEDONIA! -



Chi-Joe: Hey boss, can you answer a question?

Grouchobama: Yes! Now go away, I'm pretending not to know you.

Chi-Joe: Ha ha! Tha's-a good one, boss! But I know you know me.

Grouchobama: You think so, eh? Tell me, is there anything you DON'T know?

Chi-Joe: I'm-a confused about our economic policy.

Grouchobama: Well, if you weren't, you'd be the first one not to be. Why should you be different than anyone else here?

Chi-Joe: But boss, we've been spending lots-a monies.

Grouchobama: And we're going to spend lots-a LOTS-A MORE monies.

Chi-Joe: Where's the monies coming from?

Grouchobama: Details, details! Grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, what's the difference? What's important is that we need to spend the money NOW.

Chi-Joe: Why is that?

Grouchobama: We're the government. It's what we do. Besides, what kind of irresponsible administration would we be if we didn't produce something BIG for future generations to remember us by! IF indeed there's a limit to government, we haven't reached it yet. And in case you haven't noticed, the economy needs our help.

Chi-Joe: Yeah, it's not looking too great is it boss?

Grouchobama: It's our sacred duty to see this through, at any AND ALL cost. We owe it to the public.

And remember, whatever we spend beyond what we take in, one way or another the public owes that to us. We can't stop now. It's for the good of the economy and the country. If we don't keep pushing how will we know where the limits are? This is no time to think small. Think BIGGER! Think BIGGEST!

Chi-Joe: Now at-sa the big thing what's got me confused. Just how much 'seeing-through' will it cost to keep-a the economic ball rolling?

Grouchobama: I can't tell you that!

Chi-Joe: Why not?

Grouchobama: It's classified information. And if you don't already know, let me be the first one to tell you you've got NO class.

Chi-Joe: I got no class? You must-a have me confused with another guy that knows what you were up to last night. Boy, that was some lady you were getting friendly with, eh boss? Too bad your wife wasn't there to see what you did with your cigar.

Grouchobama: That just shows how much you don't know. That was NO lady, that WAS my wife.

Chi-Joe: Sorry about that, boss!

Grouchobama: YOU'RE sorry? What was I supposed to do with it? Did I want her to know I've been smoking again?

Chi-Joe: I don't-a want to know all the ins-and-outs of your marriage, boss. All I want is just once to have a clue as what's all going on-a HERE.

Grouchobama: Oh, all right. Can you keep a secret? Just between you and me, no one really knows.

Chi-Joe: Really? At-sa funny, I should have asked him first.

Grouchobama: Him who?

Chi-Joe: The guy who really knows! I didn't-a ask no Juan.

Grouchobama: Aha! Now that's where you're wrong - before me you didn't ask ANY one!

Chi-Joe: I didn't-a know Annie Juan knew!

Grouchobama: Of course. That's why it's a secret. Any one can tell you if it wasn't, then eventually EVERY one would know...

Chi-Joe: Who's Avery Juan?

Grouchobama: (singing) 'Every one is SOME-one if you love them!'

Harpy: "(HONK)"

Grouchobama: Was that really necessary?

Harpy: "(HONK) (HONK)"

Chi-Joe: Oh now I'm really confused, boss!

Grouchobama: Well that's nothing new. Can we stop now? I just remembered I don't know you.

Chi-Joe: But I still don't-a know what the whole deal is with the stimulus monies we're spending.

Grouchobama: The whole deal is it's a game we're playing with other people's money.

Chi-Joe: A game? How does it work?

Grouchobama: It's really quite simple. Here, let me demonstrate with this 700 billion dollar check from the national coffer. (Puts check on a dice table, shakes and rolls) DAMN! Snake eyes again.

This is fun! I love this game. (Puts check back in his pocket) Remind me to deposit that into the petty cash fund, and to write another check later.

Chi-Joe: So, the stimulus is a gamble?

Grouchobama: Surely, you jest! We have a saying here, it's not how you play the game it's whether you win or lose. And the house rules here are, the house always wins. Thank God for titled tables!

Chi-Joe: Doesn't that mean more for government, less for everybody else in the long run?

Grouchobama: So long as the game of government keeps going, and it's been going for a long time. It started before we were here, it'll be going with new players after we're gone. Personally, I don't want to be anywhere near here if the public ever catches on that the game is rigged regardless of WHO holds the dice.

Chi-Joe: How much gaming will ever be enough?

Grouchobama: It's not that it will ever be enough. With government set up as it is, too much spending is NEVER enough.

Chi-Joe: OK boss if that's the case, how soon will we see the economy pick up and stay up?

Grouchobama: I told you, no one knows! But if any one does know, they don't know for sure. Are we playing 20 questions? 'Cause if we are, let's cut out the questions & get right to the answers.

Chi-Joe: Ok, boss... tho Avery Juan knows, no Juan knows, and it's Annie Juan's guess who does... but now, if only SOME Juan would know, Avery Juan would just love it!

Grouchobama: Where the government's concerned, that's close enough! It's a strange system we have, even stranger than you... now leave me alone, Stranger!

Chi-Joe: But I can't get you a loan, boss! You know how it is these days.

Grouchobama: No, actually, I don't, but if you'd STILL like to get me alone, you don't know ME very well!

[HB3]

You lying sack.

[Riddick]

Why did the politician cross the road?

Because public opinion polls indicated it would be a smart re-election move.

To get to the $10,000 a plate fund-raising dinner.

To get the coat he left at the Intern's apartment.

So he could file for a per-diem travel-related expense.

To celebrate completion of the $243 million pedestrian overpass.

So he'd be on time to testify at his ethical misconduct trial.

To get to his all-expenses paid limo on the other side.

To elude the protesters carrying petitions for his recall

To avoid the most direct and obvious route

Because his party whip told him to

To avoid answering a reporter's question.

To get to the brothel on the other side

To get to the kickbacks, graft and bribes on the other side.

He didn't. As usual he stood still and the world revolved beneath him !

To cash his government paycheck before it bounced.

Because he'd promised in his campaign that he wouldn't.

Because he had no guiding principles, besides self interest.

It is simply erroneous to suggest that I crossed the road. My policy has always been to be on this side of the road and any indication that I was ever on the other side of the road is the work of naysayers. These churlish attempts to continually paint me as having crossed the road are simply a ploy to divert attention from the real issue, which is: why has my OPPONENT crossed the road?


The BUCK-BUCK-Bacaw stops where?
(to the SUPER CHICKEN theme tune)

If not a total knockout punch,
With voter's feathers in a bunch?
As it seems there's widespread disaffection (cluk, cluk, cluk)

There'll be someone waiting
To recover in a hurry from
This Mid-Term Election - (buk-ACK!)

The President could face an insurrection
From a Congress with a GOP complexion (buk-ACK!)

To show with him they ought not f*ck,
Mayhap the Prez will have the pluck
To veto all the bills his way they're kickin'...?(cluk, cluk, cluk)

We could see some overrides,
But two years is a long long time for
A big game of chicken (cluk, cluk, cluk)
A big game of chicken (buk-ACK!)

[Riddick]

Including replacement link for 1st video...

'Time to employ a little stragedy!' -
Wascally Wabbit Wuns for Office


Squint-Eyed Seaman
has 'Presidenshkle' Aspirations
He's not Den Kucinich, but he eats his spinach -
He's POPEYE THE Sailorman
toot toot

[Riddick]

[Diogenes]

On the way out of the neighborhood this morning I noticed a homemade Obama 2012 sign - I backed up to get a really good look at it. The signs says "this is a homemade sign and every time you knock it down I donate $500 to Obama's campaign".

Now myself I think that is bravado - AND hate to admit this but would love to test it - honestly I would just because of the bravado. My partner in crime said "oh there may be cameras" which is true in this neighborhood. Driving home I drove by slowly looking for signs of a camera.

You would think at 65 I would have outgrown this type of debauchery.

[DeathValleyScotty]

Someone suggested that I do something frightening for Halloween. So, I hung a picture of Helen Thomas on my front door.



Pretty scary isn't it?

[cherry]

I like her pearls .....

[BenSlain]

On the way out of the neighborhood this morning I noticed a homemade Obama 2012 sign - I backed up to get a really good look at it. The signs says "this is a homemade sign and every time you knock it down I donate 0 to Obama's campaign".

Now myself I think that is bravado - AND hate to admit this but would love to test it - honestly I would just because of the bravado. My partner in crime said "oh there may be cameras" which is true in this neighborhood. Driving home I drove by slowly looking for signs of a camera.

You would think at 65 I would have outgrown this type of debauchery.

Knock it down 413 times. It will cost them $206500! And it's only a violation. You won't do any time. The fine will be less than 300 bucks and well worth it. After you leave court you can point out that they....like always....lied. They won't give BO a penny. Matter of fact I bet dollars to donuts they are getting all kinds of perks from BO.

[BenSlain]

I'm all perky today!

[Diogenes]

Knock it down 413 times. It will cost them 6500! And it's only a violation. You won't do any time. The fine will be less than 300 bucks and well worth it. After you leave court you can point out that they....like always....lied. They won't give BO a penny. Matter of fact I bet dollars to donuts they are getting all kinds of perks from BO.

OK again hating to admit this but on the way out to work I "cased" the joint and didn't notice any cameras so said to myself ok a 2 am run over there dressed in black might be fun. True story, the Santa Ana winds kicked up around midnight and were blowing like ***&^%% so I stayed in bed.

Leaving early that morning for the office I saw the winds had blown the ((**&^%% out of the sign and it was in the street.

I mean what's a truck to do.

Ben - I like your thought process and strategery:D