Political Humor

[Shirleypal]

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin"

"What?" said the puzzled groom, "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver..

"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss him.

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?















"You’re with the "GOVERNMENT" This time I know I will get screwed

[Riddick]

As a public service, zombietime.com has compiled The Ultimate Online Archive of Unflattering Hillary Clinton Photos. The photos come from a wide variety of sources -- from personal snapshots, to historical archives, to standard mainstream news photos.





To quote from the website: "Is this 'fair'? Is it mature, impartial and reasoned? Of course not. But this is politics, after all. My goal is to puncture the perfectly-honed public image of Hillary maintained by her campaign staff, and undermine any attempts to control the public perception of her."






See more pictures at the site
http://www.zombietime.com/really_truly_hillary_gallery/

[Riddick]

As we move into the New Year with Election '08
& the start of the presidential selection process
less than a week away -

An intriguing look at the
CLINTONIAN MYSTIQUE

[Riddick]

Seems some folks've noticed Mike Huckabee has more than a passing resemblance to a certain cartoon character -

Check out the Huckabee Hound Button ! There's also a Youtube video set to Huckleberry Hound's theme...

Myself, I've taken a swift stab at a Photoshopped side-by-side comparison:



There's just one thing missing... but that'll change soon as someone finds a recording of Huckabee singing 'My Darling Clementine'!

[SETIsLady]

Thanks Riddick, these are great

[Riddick]

Riddle me this:

What do you get when you vote
for the LESSER OF TWO EVILS?


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. (Hint: think of the type of car Mr. Bean drives)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Answer: An "Austin Mini"



THE MORAL of THE RIDDLE:
We're TOTALLY & ROYALLY
SHAGGED !

1) However it dresses up, at its core
even a lesser of evils is STILL EVIL
2) SIZE doesn't matter, 'cause either
way we'll vote in some sort of DICK!

[Riddick]

Ten Presidential Candidate Anagrams

10. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton -> "Icy, Iron Anal Hen. Thralldoms rot."

9. Senator Barack Hussein Obama -> "Heartbreak! As in, Obama cons us."

8. Obama and Clinton -> "Damn it! Cabal! No-no!"

7. Senator Johnny Reid Edwards -> "John towers... ARISE, dandy nerd!"

6. Mitt Romney -> "My, I'm Rotten"

5. Joe Biden -> "I Need Job"

4. Mike Huckabee -> "Meek Hick Beau"

3. Actor Fred Thompson -> " 'Ed' from Hot Porn Acts?", "Deft 'Mosh Porn' Actor", "Tech of Pornstardom", "At Freshporn Dot Com"... & others TOO RACY to mention!!

2. John McCain -> "Jam Conch In" (ouch!)

1. Rudy Giuliani -> "Gaudily, I Ruin"




And finally, THE Bonus 'Bogus'
anagram for ALL of Decision '08:

Presidential Campaign Diaries ->
"Candidate Pimps Are Airing Lies"

[Riddick]

The Year's Most Laughable Political Antics
Couple of my favs:
"Best Bushism: During the 2000 presidential race, candidate George W. Bush famously asked, 'Is our children learning?' Seven years into his presidency, the Great Pronunciator finally arrived at a conclusion: 'Childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured,' Bush declared as he touted the success of No Child Left Behind."

"Most Estranged: Dick Cheney and Barack Obama, who discovered that they are eighth cousins, thanks to a common ancestor who came to America from France in the 17th century (presumably driven by imperial blood lust, yet tempered by boyish idealism). A spokesman for Obama noted that 'every family has a black sheep.'"

[Riddick]

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em -
Blow a Lung for the Gipper!

[Justen Tyme]

Have you ever lost sleep lying in bed at night, wondering -
"What if Norman Lear was a Libertarian Conservative
& was producing ads for the RON PAUL campaign...?"
No? Well, for grins why don't you read on anyway...

[SETIsLady]

Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party
in the 2008 election year.

[whskyfan]

SETIsLady

[Shirleypal]

Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party
in the 2008 election year.

Like that one.

[whskyfan]

. . . Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .



Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

[Shirleypal]

Great solution and I do believe it will work.........maybe you could send an email to Bushco and see what he thinks.