AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT
>
> Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.
>
> This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
>
> Dear Sir,
>
> I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form I submitted.
>
> I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
>
> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
>
> Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
>
> You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.
>
> Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
>
> In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
>
> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
>
> Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
>
> Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
>
> As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
>
> The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
>
> I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
>
> I hope this explanation answers your request. Thank You.
>
>
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT 7
~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'
Moderator: Super Moderators
Return to “Laugh a bit with Ole 68”
Jump to
- ON THE AIR ~ AM/FM/XM RADIO
- ↳ Art Bell's Midnight in the Desert
- ↳ Art Bell Classic Shows & Somewhere in Time Chat
- ↳ Art Bell Archive
- ↳ Art Bell Archive 12-2001 to 5-2002
- ↳ Fantastic Forum 'Original Radio Room'
- ↳ Art Bell/The New Frontier
- ↳ Dreamland ~ Whitley Strieber
- ↳ George Noory/C2C AM Topics/Radio topics
- ↳ Ian Punnett/Saturday Host
- ↳ George Knapp/C2C Sunday Host
- ↳ John B. Wells Caravan To Midnight
- ↳ Ham Radio/DXing
- Ship's Galley
- ↳ FFPirates on Twitter
- ↳ Announcements/ FYI
- ↳ Rapa - from the Ship's Archives
- ↳ Ship's Galley ~ Fantastic Forum Community
- ↳ The Crow's Nest
- ↳ First Time Posters Thread
- ↳ Laugh a bit with Ole 68
- ↳ Garden & Galley
- The Starboard Tack
- ↳ UFO
- ↳ Quantum Physics/Edge Science
- ↳ Paranormal
- ↳ Ancient Archaeology
- ↳ John Lear Archive
- ↳ Conspiracies/Black Ops
- USA
- ↳ Economy
- ↳ Media Watch
- ↳ Energy Policy
- ↳ American Survival
- The Blue Planet...
- ↳ Awakening of global consciousness
- ↳ The Natural World
- ↳ News from a parallel universe
- ↳ Environment in Crisis
- ↳ All Creatures Great and Small
- NEWS BREAK
- ↳ Alt News Blog
- ↳ National
- ↳ Global
- ↳ Weird Nooz
- SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
- ↳ FF IT Tech
- ↳ Earth/ Weather/ Climate
- ↳ Health
- ↳ Astronomy/ NASA/Physics
- ↳ Technology
- ↳ Chemtrails
- ↳ The 10th Planet
- FANTASTIC PUB
- ↳ The Brig
- ↳ Politics and Government 2014 - Present
- ↳ Food
- ↳ The Murky Bilge
- ↳ Music
- ↳ Religion/Metaphysics
- ↳ Philosophy
- ↳ Books, Documentaries, Movies, TV Shows
- ↳ USS TEXAS - BB35 Archive
- ↳ Poetry Forum
- ↳ Pirates and Skeptics -P&G, etc
- ↳ Photography
- SETI @ home
- ↳ FANTASTIC FORUM ~ SETi Team
- ↳ Team Art Bell
- Archive
- ↳ Third Party Candidates - 2004
- ↳ USA Archive
- ↳ Various
- ↳ Who Needs eBay?
- ↳ Iraq
- ↳ Politics and Government 2010-2013
- ↳ MAD'S Mali Journal
- ↳ Wild Card Thread
- ↳ Bush/Cheney '04 Campaign
- ↳ William Henry ~ Stargates in the Age of Tara
- ↳ Hemp Industry
- ↳ We the People
- ↳ Politics and Government 2004-2009
- ↳ Lost Harbour & Dry Dock
- ↳ Fantastic Forum Productions
- ↳ Star Trek Forum
- ↳ USS TEXAS ~ BB 35 Restoration/Preservation Project
- ↳ Politics and Government Pre-2007
- ↳ Fantastic Forum - Editor's Cut