Arts New Wife

[Tinkerbell]

This will probably get me flamed, but I am going to say it anyway.

Ramona died 4 months ago. The love of his life. His soul mate.
Suddenly he meets a girl 40 years younger than him on the internet, not wrong, travels to meet her, not wrong. Marries her?
Feels wrong.

Then to leave Pahrump? KYNE? And giving the kitties away?

And leaving the country. Coast to Coast during the day from the Phillipines. Not the High Desert now is it?

It seems like men have a harder time than women, being on their own if their partner dies first. I'm not talking about grieving. I mean that the prospect of having to take care of them-selves (cooking, laundry, shopping, etc.) is something they feel totally incapable of. Either they have NEVER done it or it has been so long ago, they really can't remember much about it. Art even mentioned it a few times. But I was still totally shocked. His relationship with Ramona was so special and seemed way above what most people have.
What is even more shocking to me, is that he's leaving EVERYTHING behind... the desert area, his home, his cats, the list is endless. Coincidentally, I just finished re-reading "The Art of Talk". So alot about Art & his life was refreshed in my mind; like his love of the dersert, his need for privacy and quiet which living in the desert provides, the fact that he felt his ability to do the show as good as he does, would not be possible if he had to live in the city.
Then there's the years of hearing so many stories about his kitties. The book even devotes a chapter on Shadow coming into his life - and his other cats are in there, too. I never would have thought a time would come when Art would go a day without his cats, no matter what. On his first show after Ramona died, he said that at one point, his cats were what kept him from suicide. They were there at the lowest time in his whole life. How can he give them up? They won't understand... first Ramona and now Art. Plus the only home they've ever known. There's no way to explain any of it to them.
I'm going on about the cats so much, because I'm trying to deal with the death of a loved one (which happened 2 mos. before Ramona's died). My situation is VERY similar to Art's, only for different reasons. Mainly its the HORRIBLE lonliness - its like nothing I've ever experienced before. I have no family or children and if it wasn't for Maggie May (my cat), I know it would overwhelm me completely. There is no way I would ever give her up, for ANY reason. If whatever I was planning didn't include her, then it wouldn't be the right thing to do.
I've said MUCH MORE than I had planned to. So it might be me that ends up getting flamed. I'll take that chance. Like Art said, its his life! And if he's truely happy, which I have to admit I heard clearly in his voice during the show, well that's good enough for me!

Tinkerbell

[Faedrea]

Let me chime in here. I will say that I don't think its at all "disrespectful" to Ramona. But I will echo the sentiments of all those who said it feels really, really WEIRD, there is something strange about it. Like the person who said they didnt know which was more shocking, Ramona's sudden death or Art's sudden marriage.

Trying to be logical for a moment, its possible they wanted to be together and the only way they could would have been marriage. She may have had immigration problems (the USA not letting her in) and immigration to the Philipenes would be easier for Art if they were married.

I don't know though, I still think its all pretty weird.

[tiffany]

So sorry for your loss Tinkerbell.

There are woman in other lands who would love to marry an American Citizen. Many from Mexico, The Phillipines, Russia, etc. Although this is not case it seems, yet many woman from those lands are brought up to think about marrying an American. I noted that the mother and sister were standing behind Art and his new wife but not a father. May have been elsewhere, don't know.

I do feel very uneasy about this. When there is a death of someone close, you should not do anything for at least six months. That is very true. I do feel that he is getting rid of everything too fast because he is head over heels.

I can see that Art is very happy and he lived in the EAST for many years in the past, so I do not think that he will be uncomfortable there. He understands the view of those who are older in the EAST, and the care they are given by the whole, and by the woman especially. He may live the rest of his life very happy and I wish him that.

I remember he said a very odd thing not too long after Ramona died, something to the effect that she was his soulmate but if he met someone else (can't remember exactly) but I thought it a strange comment at the time. Perhaps he was already in contact with his now wife as his voice has sounded very strong for some time.

Ramona being near death on other occasions with her asthma was I'm sure a very stressful time for Art. He just wants to leave all behind and have fun and be happy. I get that.

Hoping for the best and a long marriage.

Art congratulations. Will check in a year. Wish you the best.

Side note: I think that the Art Bell that we once knew is in the EAST living out his life and we will not get him back the way we wish. His attention will be on the new life. Ramona was very interested in radio. The new wife has already stated what she does or does not want as in not wanting to come here. I doubt we will have the same Art that we had in the past. Just my opinion nothing more.

[Cherry Kelly]

Remember back when he was talking about how Ramona had prepaid a bunch of stuff for several months ahead. Remember when he talked about other times when she'd almost died -- I think she knew Art could not be alone.

My dad was the same way - though he didn't marry quite as quickly - it was almost a year after Mom died, but he did go out within two months after she passed away.

--
When he first mentioned something radical new - my husband said -- woman. I said that sounded logical (have known other men who have done quite similarly).

I am happy for Art and his new wife and wish them much happiness.

==
I too am concerned about the kitties - and he did mention maybe taking 2-3 but he didn't like the idea of putting them through the quarantine thing - which I also understand. Thing is these cats are used to being together - especially older ones. They need to be together too.

==
Now as for changes -- clear channel will be setting up something for him to be able to continue broadcasting. Same way with his HAM radio -- but does he realize completely - that the time element is going to make a drastic change in his many years life cycle? Time zonehe's used to being up nights - for radio and Ham - now he will do that in daytime. Could be a bigger change than he totally realizes.

[Cpt Spike Mike]

Many say Art's decision doesn't "feel right". Have you also thought about the possibility that Art & Ramona may have both agreed that the other should remarry if one might suddenly pass away? For all we know, Ramona may have approved of him remarrying, even so soon. She may have even voiced a sentiment along the lines of, "hey, I'll be dead; it won't bother me."

[Tinkerbell]

So sorry for your loss Tinkerbell.

I do feel very uneasy about this. When there is a death of someone close, you should not do anything for at least six months. That is very true. I do feel that he is getting rid of everything too fast because he is head over heels.

I remember he said a very odd thing not too long after Ramona died, something to the effect that she was his soulmate but if he met someone else (can't remember exactly) but I thought it a strange comment at the time. Perhaps he was already in contact with his now wife as his voice has sounded very strong for some time.

Thank you tiffany.

You're so right about not doing anything for at least 6 mos. Earlier today, I found a letter I received after my loss that was from Hospice. It was my mom that I lost.
Almost 2 yrs. ago, I quit my job and gave up my apartment so I could move in with my mom and take care of her because she wasn't able to be on her own anymore. She ended up on hospice and died peacefully at home. Anyway, here is a direct quote from the letter:

"Be careful in making any decisions which will have a long lasting effect on your life. It is generally best to stay in familiar surroundings with familiar relationships until you can be comfortably objective about future changes."

These people are experts, and for me, their advice has been right on the money every time.

Tink

P.S. I wish you could recall what Art said that you found odd at the time. Be sure and post it if you do remember.

[Cpt Spike Mike]

Cherry! Will you quit reading my posts before . . I . . . . post them . . . or . . something like that?

[miQmott]

as the kiddies say.......im a little "grossed out".


the whole thing seems creepy to me, in reasons listed, and reasons not listed. and just one of them is the whole kind of "mail order bride" feeling to this (but moving TO the bride?). i know, that is highly disrespectful, and maybe insensitive to say. but im only responding at first glance, and how it appears on the surface.
i hope im wrong.........maybe he is in for a great adventure.........in fact. im sure he is. good luck, art. yikes.

[tiffany]

I felt from early on from the comments he was making that perhaps there was another woman he was interested in.

Tinker it was something like well if he remarries, or should another woman come into his life but it seemed as if he was thinking it was a now thing, etc. This was very soon after her death and I thought a lil strange of a comment.

[Atheen]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by witchy
This will probably get me flamed, but I am going to say it anyway.

Ramona died 4 months ago. The love of his life. His soul mate.
Suddenly he meets a girl 40 years younger than him on the internet, not wrong, travels to meet her, not wrong. Marries her?
Feels wrong.

Feels disrespectful to Ramona. So soon.


**********
AND, he's running a yard sale on his world-wide show to dispose of his 'stuff'. Maybe he does live in a trailer?

I agree totally with Witchy. This feels disrespectful to me, as well. I'm disappointed in Art. So much for the whole Soul Mate concept.

Another thing, just about three weeks ago he weepily played the old song, 'I'm In You', and said it was his and Ramona's song. Last night he played it again and dedicated it to the new gal.

What happened? Did he run out of clean socks?

I'm through ........... Glad Ian Punnett is still there.

[Live365]

Have you also thought about the possibility that Art & Ramona may have both agreed that the other should remarry if one might suddenly pass away?

Another wise and balanced point, Cap. It's been mentioned either here or in another thread on the same topic that the new wife bears an uncanny resemblence to the young Ramona. Look, like all ofus, I really don't want to be disrepectful here. But I don't think it's completely untoward to just...point it out.

Tiffany, I remember that too. At the time, I was kinda disturbed by it. Guess I shouldn't have been.

Well, I've been camped out on this thread for two hours now, hoping to feel better. In some ways I do, in other ways I just feel more raw, as poignant emotion and thoughts are shared (Tinkerbell, but also all who've either been completely honest about their feelings and/or have been able to shed some perspective on this).

I just...I just want Art to be okay. And this doesn't feel okay to me. Sorry, but those are my completely honest feelings. I will pray for Art.

But, as I steal a phrase from that seasoned Pirate above, I'm kinda done with the Art Bell Coaster ride. Forgive me guys, but I think this is the last thing I can take.

All my best to you, Art Bell.

[tiffany]

Wow didn't know about the song thing..that is very strange. I hope he is not getting rid of everything because she requested it of him.

Slow is what is cautioned here.......but it's rolling really fast right now so don't think any slowing is imminent.

[Live365]

Another thing, just about three weeks ago he weepily played the old song, 'I'm In You', and said it was his and Ramona's song. Last night he played it again and dedicated it to the new gal.

What happened? Did he run out of clean socks?

I'm through ........... Glad Ian Punnett is still there.

Oh my God. I didn't know this nor see the post before I posted, either.

Thanks for the ride, Art Bell. I'll never forget it. But as you've aptly demonstrated, life goes on. Best wishes.

[Harmoniman]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Live365 quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Cpt Spike Mike
Have you also thought about the possibility that Art & Ramona may have both agreed that the other should remarry if one might suddenly pass away?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Another wise and balanced point, Cap. Not a point. just supposition.

[OidarAM]

wow weeeeeeeeeeeee

The way I see it. Art didn't kill himself. Now after coming out from under that he is reborn and even better IN LOVE!

The kitty thing upsets me but....I know how my mind was after a close death.

I will never be the old normal again>>rebirth>>the new me

The new Art is going for it and that is better than him being dead.

So what if he makes mistakes or it may not turn out perfect. Life is risk and one thing for sure>>Art is a risk taker BIG TIME.

Life is a wild ride and Art's time maybe short so heck if his remaining time is filled with blisssssssss >>good fo him

If Ramona is pissed she will kick his butt in the afterlife......I maybe wrong but I just feel she would be the first to say go for it ART.

I think she might even laugh about how upset so many fans would be. I can hear her laughing in my mind. She was such a major kick.....

or I could be wrong totally about everything I think............