Now, here's a guest for George to have on his show: (you'll have to click the link if you want to see the photo - ha)
Man reads between naked buttocks to predict future
2007/02/16
Naked buttocks can predict future, claims a blind German psychic. He says he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.
Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's buttocks have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.
"The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."
By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's naked buttocks, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.
He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.
Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.
He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed, Reuters reports.
"All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.
"An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."
He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.
Man reads between naked buttocks to predict future
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Some people can read your eyes retinas, and tell you if you have a health problem, what it is, and if there's a known cure.
I wonder if the airport and ship TSA scanners reading our retinas can do anything like this? Maybe they call your insurance companies and tell them to increase your premium rates...
As for the butt-reader? It must be a great job if you can get it; let's hope your body is CLEAN.
I wonder if the airport and ship TSA scanners reading our retinas can do anything like this? Maybe they call your insurance companies and tell them to increase your premium rates...
As for the butt-reader? It must be a great job if you can get it; let's hope your body is CLEAN.
If you're still breathing, it's not too late!
Yeah, my husband would buy a white cane for that job! 
