Campaign events, speeches, issues and discussion
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5 posts • Page 1 of 1
I think we are all.
This kinda made me grin,but also mead me think.
So here it goes.
I would like to introduce myself.......
I am John Kerry.
I was against the first Iraq war. I am against the second Iraq war, but
I voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support the UN.
I'm against terrorism and against the Iraq war. But I voted for the Iraq
war. So, I voted against the first war and supported the second war,
I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but think
the San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages. No, wait, gay
I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised
Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people.
I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are pro-life.
But I might consider putting pro-life judges in office, but I'm not
sure. I do know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I stated that it was a
I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against
fellow U.S. Troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to do
the same. But I am a war hero. Against the war.
I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I then
revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals, then lately I
stated that I threw someone else's medals away and never threw anything
of mine away.
I believe Ribbons and medals aren't the same thing. Medals come with
ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same thing
besides the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are medal.
I wrote a book that pictured the U.S. Flag upside-down on its cover. But
now I fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side up on it.
But sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.
Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't kill
Palestinian terrorists, but they should stop terrorism. Yasser Arafat is
a terrorist supporter. I support Mideast peace.
I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my
family is worth $300 million dollars has a jet and many SUV's. I am the
I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir, which Heinz
has most factories offshore. I am against rewarding companies for
exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.
I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by
driving small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I own
part of Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate America.
I own SUV's when I talk to my followers in Detroit, Michigan, Teresa
owns SUV's, I don't, when I talk to "tree-hugging" followers. I have a
campaign jet that gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.
I am against making military service an issue in presidential elections.
I defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all serve in their own
capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I
mention, I served in Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my
patriotism? I served in Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three purple
hearts! I am a hero. I am qualified to run this country since I
served....those 4 months, which seemed like a lifetime!!!
I am John Kerry. (What you see is what you get).
.....and remember, my initials are JFK, but I'm not John Fitzgerald
Kennedy!!! .... (but right now I wish I was!!!).