The Ten Most Pathetic Couples on Film

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Magister Ludi
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The Ten Most Pathetic Couples on Film

Post by joequinn » 08-20-2007 10:27 PM

Courtesy of something called the Pearl and Dean Survey of 2007...

Hey, don't shoot me! I am only the pianer player in this cathouse...

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain.

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut.

Kate Beckinsale and Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor.

Andie MacDowell and Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery in Entrapment.

Madonna and Adriano Giannini in Swept Away.

Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck for Gigli.

And the Grand Prize for the Most Pathetic Couple in Film goes to...

Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

Needless to say, I agree with most --- but not all --- of these decisions. What do you think? ... ist/698547
Last edited by joequinn on 08-20-2007 10:31 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Shirleypal » 08-20-2007 10:33 PM

The sick part of this Joe is that I have seen most of these films.

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Post by HurricaneJoanie » 08-20-2007 10:42 PM

I agree with all, Joe...and there are many more. The fault of casting directors and directors who need to lean more heavily towards on-screen chemistry vs. box office potential due to individual star power.
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Post by Corvid » 08-20-2007 11:47 PM

Re #7: "Pearl Harbor" sucked so badly in so many ways. I was glad to see it end before Affleck flew the Enola Gay, broke the sound barrier and landed on the moon.

There is a special place in hell for, producers, directors and writers who so butcher history. Poetic license is one thing but...... jeeeze.

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Post by Shimmering Auro » 08-21-2007 12:53 AM

Great list, spot on, too. I agree, the casting in these movies was truly pathetic. As a matter of fact, although several of the films did very well, I feel all but a few were complete bombs.

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Post by vigo » 08-21-2007 01:16 AM

I agree with all but one.

Keep playing them ivories fella. :cool:
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Post by spaceprophet » 08-21-2007 06:04 AM

What no Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton in Rhinestone?

I rented that one time as a joke and my girlfriend at the time threw up in a bowl of popcorn.
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Post by RTIF » 08-21-2007 09:27 AM

Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman in Bewitched.

Jude Law and Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain

Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman in The Interpreter

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut (Gawd, Cruise ruined that movie)

(I actually adore Nicole Kidman, btw)

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Post by Live365 » 08-21-2007 12:16 PM

I must disagree by defending Natalie Portman, who I believe was a helpless victim in the travesty that George Lucas made of his own legacy. And I don't know how anyone could have held their own against that vapid, greasy-haired kid.

Also confused by #9. Thought most people appreciated that pairing, including a few here. :D

Finally, am disappointed to see that Meg Ryan, whom I'll admit I can't stand, didn't make the list with her various pairings (even Tom Hanks, who I mostly like).

Otherwise, agree. :) Especially "Titanic". There was actually a time when I believed I was the only person in the world who saw that movie for what it really was. Glad those days are over!
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Post by SETIsLady » 08-21-2007 08:53 PM

spaceprophet wrote: What no Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton in Rhinestone?
Yes that deserved to be on the list :D

Otherwise I agree with all but one on the list.

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Post by joequinn » 08-21-2007 09:07 PM

I possibly disagree with #6, but I definitely disagree with #9. Brokeback Mountain was a terrorist act, a clear and present danger to the national security of the Good Ole U. S. of "We're #1, you f'ing faggots!" A, precisely because the relationship depicted within the film was not pathetic. Tragic, yes, but most assuredly not pathetic.

My commitment to the human values which Brokeback Mountain --- which, may I remind you, did not win the Oscar for Best Picture of 2005 --- which Brokeback Mountain embodies is terminal. Irrevocable. Unto death.

:D :D :D
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Post by Psychicwolf » 08-22-2007 02:08 AM

I will confess my popular cultural illiteracy here. I have seen only one of those films, "Titanic". I don't care for movies that much, but when I do I like the really old films. The 30s, 40s and 50's were the golden age for me. My all time favorite movie and all time favorite couple was Jennifer Jones and William Holden in "Love is A Many Slendored Thing". Released in 1955. THE most romantic movie ever made, IMO!
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Post by OMG » 08-22-2007 12:26 PM

Usually these lists are done solely to upset me (well in my mind anyways) which I think they add a couple of horrible choices just to get discussion and controversy. But like most of you, I think this one was done pretty well.

I disagree with #9 and maybe #6, but the rest seem pretty well on the target.

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Post by Dude111 » 06-15-2018 11:57 PM

I agree with all except #10 (They were a GOOD couple who met a sad ending)

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