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Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 01-17-2020 09:13 PM
by Doka
I would suggest Democrats stay away from this thread, it requires humor, and some sophistication and is not for children.




What is The Babylon Bee?

The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.

Pelosi Releases Limited-Edition Replica Of Dentures Worn During Trump Impeachment

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi has announced a new creative fundraiser for Dems in 2020: auctioning off limited-edition replicas of the dentures she wore during Trump's impeachment.

The dentures have Pelosi's signature emblazoned in gold across the gums. Only 300 sets were made, so you'll need to jump on this opportunity to get this coveted souvenir from Trump's somber impeachment ceremony.

The bidding starts at $1,000.00 per pair, with all proceeds going to help Dems campaign on impeachment. Excited Democrats began bidding on the dentures, driving the price up into the tens of thousands of dollars immediately.

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get a historic relic from this somber, very serious impeachment trial," Pelosi said in a speech, pulling back her lips to show the emblazoning on her official, original pair of historic dentures. "The plating on the signatures are authentic, 24K gold." You can even customize your dentures with "bling" like gold or silver teeth with messages like "ORANGE MAN BAD" or "IMPEACH 45."

The Speaker of the House also said that if you act fast, you'll get a collector's edition plate and coin absolutely free. You're also able to "buy it now" with financing options of just 30% of your income for the rest of your life.

Pelosi is also auctioning off a limited number of empty vodka bottles, the contents of which were consumed during the impeachment proceedings.

https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-rele ... mpeachment

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 01-21-2020 03:15 PM
by Doka
Politics
Warren: 'Bernie Once Told Me In Private That 'The Princess Bride' Is A Garbage Movie And Those Who Enjoy It Are Human Trash'

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., on Monday said that Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt, in 2018 told her that The Princess Bride is a garbage movie and those who enjoy it are human trash — a statement the Sanders campaign had blasted as "a lie" earlier in the day.

"Bernie and I met for a few hours in May 2018 to discuss the 2020 election," Warren said in a statement. "Among the topics that came up was The Princess Bride. I thought it was a fabulous movie; he disagreed."

Warren claims Bernie also told her that he hates puppies, beer, Dolly Parton, and that on the day he became president he would outlaw french fries. "He told me, people who eat french fries are vermin," she told reporters. "Literal vermin."

"It is ludicrous to believe that at the same meeting where Elizabeth Warren told me she was going to run for president, I would tell her that stuff about this Princess movie and french fries and these things," he said.

In her statement, Warren said, "I have no interest in discussing this private meeting any further because Bernie and I agree more than we disagree. We have been friends and allies in this fight for a long time, and I have no doubt we will continue to work together to defeat Donald Trump and put our government on the side of the people." She then added, "Also, he told me he hates babies."

https://babylonbee.com/news/warren-bern ... uman-trash

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 01-21-2020 05:12 PM
by Malaria_Kidd II
:lol:

Adam Shiftless would like that satire since he pulled off the same thing, kinda realistically like fake news, in the early investigation BS. :raspberry He was getting red faced and worked up today; along with Readers Shumer!

Gold plated dentures at $300 a piece? Wow what a buy Doka!

I would rather have one of the free 11 (or MORE?) ink pens she signed her 11 letter name with for the articles recently. One pen, one letter, one pen, one letter! etc, etc. :confused: :lol:


MK II :)

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 01-24-2020 02:21 PM
by Doka
CNN Unveils New Format Where Hosts Just Watch Fox News And Yell At It

January 24th, 2020

ATLANTA, GA—CNN has introduced a new format for its news shows: Now when people tune in, they’ll see two anchors sitting at a desk with a TV between them tuned to FOX News about which the anchors will yell about angrily.

“They’re not even talking about what Adam Schiff said in the impeachment trial,” anchor Oliver Darcy shouted in a recent broadcast as he and co-anchor Brian Stelter watched a FOX News report about the economy.

“They’re just skipping over the most important news,” agreed Stelter.

This is a big change for CNN, but they expect it to lead to improved ratings. “I think this is an exciting new format for us,” explained CNN CEO and founder, Bob CNN, “and it’s a lot of cost savings, as we’re just paying the cable bill to watch FOX News.” He then added in a whisper, “I don’t actually have to pay those two to yell at FOX News.”

Darcy and Stelter didn’t offer any comment, as they were too engaged watching FOX News. “This isn’t even real news,” said Stelter as they stared at the TV.

“Anyone who watches just this is going to be really uninformed,” Darcy added. The two then sat in rapt attention as a catheter bag ad began to play.

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-unveils ... yell-at-it

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 02-09-2020 01:56 PM
by Doka
As with most satire, pretty close to the truth. So lets Tamper ! Go Vote!



Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In his opening statement at Trump's impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of their solemn duty and the gravity of just what it is they will be discussing at the trial.

Schiff warned that if Trump is not impeached, the American people may have a chance to tamper with the next election.

"If President Trump is not impeached, the American people might get a say in who is president," Schiff said gravely. "We simply can't allow that to happen. We must diligently defend our electoral process against electoral outcomes we do not like. If that means seizing power through a sham impeachment trial, so be it."

"If President Trump is not impeached, the American people might get a say in who is president," Schiff said gravely. "We simply can't allow that to happen. We must diligently defend our electoral process against electoral outcomes we do not like. If that means seizing power through a sham impeachment trial, so be it."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-w ... t-election

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 02-09-2020 03:12 PM
by Malaria_Kidd II
Those Shifty lines deserves a third repeat. Was he drunk on drink or high on meth? :oops:

And that was not even a blip in the news ON ALL NEWS OUTLETS? That is my first time to read it Doka. :confused:

"If President Trump is not impeached, the American people might get a say in who is president," Schiff said gravely. "We simply can't allow that to happen. We must diligently defend our electoral process against electoral outcomes we do not like. If that means seizing power through a sham impeachment trial, so be it."

THE END (ing)............is right!

"When the Founders wrote that founding document thing, they never imagined there would be electoral outcomes that Democrats did not agree with."

Democrats also said they even have hard evidence that the 2016 election was compromised by Republicans voting for Trump.

"We know this horrible outcome could happen, because it's already happened once before."

Vote 2020 or stay home if the Dems continue to field lack luster choices!


This whole brief piece reads like fake news! But surely it is not faked! Since as wacky as these tribulations X 2 has been, suffering it's own predetermined fate each time, costing us million$ in D.C.; the Dem'$ are not done by any mean$!


MK II :idea:

Re: Welcome To The Babylon Bee

Posted: 02-25-2020 04:52 PM
by Doka
Remember folks this is "Satire" granted.....these days ......hard to tell, Real Truth is Stranger Yet.

What is The Babylon Bee?

The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.

Bernie Sanders Praises China For Eradicating Poverty By Killing All The Poor People

U.S.—Presidential candidate and Senator Bernie Sanders offered words of praise for China's successful reduction of poverty in many parts of the country by killing off all the poor people through government control of the economy.

Sanders pointed out that the country has been very successful in eliminating vast swathes of poverty and also the poor.

"America still has a lot of poor people, and that's because we haven't been aggressive in implementing socialist programs that cause mass starvation," Sanders said, his fingers flopping around like ten tiny wacky inflatable tube men. "Firing squads, death camps, breadlines---all of these are humanitarian tools in the arsenal of the government to shoot poverty in the face, and sometimes also the poor in the face, when it's necessary."

The senator also pointed out that poor people, who often own fewer than three homes, don't contribute much to a socialist economy and "not much is lost" when these single-home-owners are shot or simply starve to death as the government can't even figure out how to get food to everyone, a problem even bad fast-food restaurants like McDonald's solved decades ago.

https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-sand ... oor-people