~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'
Moderator: Super Moderators
No one wrecks words quite like Archie Bunker. After going through the vigorous Bunker brain rinse cycle, what comes out is a faint reference to the actual word, yet used in just the right place in the conversation. Here's some of the best English-mangling Archie Bunkerisms.
Arguing with Mike, Archie says “That's irreverent to the conversation.” Mike corrects him ‘irrelevant” & Archie says “What ever, it’s not German to the conversation.”
“I’ll tell you the basical problem with your drop outs today is that they ain't got no gratitude. What they got here is the greatest country in the world, the highest standard of living and the grossest national product.”
“Back in my day we learned to keep things in their proper suspective.”
Mike says, “It’s just pelvic construction, women are built differently” & Archie answers, “Oh please don’t draw me no diaphragms .“
“It’s a well known fact that capital punishment is a detergent to crime!”
Archie asks, “What’s that smell?" - Gloria tells him her friend Robin is burning incense Archie says “It smells like a house of ill–refute.”
“They want people like your mother on the jury because they know she doesn’t have any pre-conscrewed ideas.”
“There’s wide open sex all over the place, but that’s okay that’s just your submissive society!”
“It ain’t enough that he’s a pinko and an Atheist, you’re gonna turn him from a man into a morphadite.” “What’s a Morphadite?” Gloria asks, & Archie’s insight comes spilling forth… “A freak with a little bit of each… and not enough of neither!”
“I wanna tell you somethin’ I got no respect for a guy that’s spends his whole life gettin’ cheap thrills out of other people’s nuditity.”
“Listen, nobody gets arrested in this country unless they deserve it. If he don’t go callin’ cops pigs or another of them epaulets, he’ll be alright.”
Edith: “Archie, please let him come back in, he’s really a very nice boy.” Archie- “Nice boy! What’da mean nice boy. After he done what he done. Comin’ in here and making suppository remarks about his country!”
”Certainly that’s the way it was for a long time. One religion til they started splittin’ off into all them other denumerations there. Your Catholics, your Perspiterians.”
Gloria: "You’re acting like Scrooge." Archie- "Ah, don’t Scrooge me, I’m the only one around here that understands the true and solemn meaning of Christmas. It’s a time for peace and quiet contemtation.”
Archie giving Edith a command-“Get on the phone and call the lodge and confirm that the Bunkers is goin’ on a trip to Florida as prederanged.”
"You never believe nuttin', Edith. You're one of them septics."
“Now hear this, all of yous: It's a very serious problem we got here that’s gonna take all my thinking and all of my consecration.”
Neighbor Irene Lorenzo wants to cut the party cake & Archie says, "Hold your horses, Irene. Like the Good Book says,'Patience is a virgin.'”
“This is a Jewish cake! They give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed.”
“The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous.”
Edith: "You've been to lots of funerals." Archie- "I know, I know, Edith, but I ain't never delivered a urology."
@ $100 per show or per week, I'm not sure. I think that each punch, jab, slap, strange substance like paint, glue, and tool abuses should have made them waaay more $! All Stooges made their production company millions off their combined comedic genious!
MK II ∆= "JERRY!"
MK II ∆= "JERRY!"
.......all wasteful, climate changing wars. Begun again by the Red Blooded Royals, or by a bewitching God-like dictator, or any so called religion, or for any other reasons like a world wide virus pandemic! MK II 4/26/15