Old Jokes

~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'

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Riddick
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Old Jokes

Post by Riddick » 10-01-2021 01:46 PM

You know you're old when...

Happy Hour is a nap.

People tell you how good you look.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

An "All-Nighter" means not getting up to pee.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There are fewer things you are willing to wait in line for.

Almost everything hurts & what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

You're told to slow down by your doctor and not the police.

You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.

You go to the museum and the guards keep trying to put you back on display.

You cut down a tree and you find you have more wrinkles then the tree has rings.

You sit in a chair & realize after a while it's not the chair squeaking- it's your back!

You lean down to pick something up off the floor, and then ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you're down there.

You can relate to the Seven Dwarfs of Old Age: Nappy, Wrinkly, Squinty, Rocky, Saggy, Leaky, and Farty!

Taking your morning pills takes longer than eating your pancakes and sausage.

You don't think about dying because it's the last thing you want to do.

You live each day as it was your last. You'll get it right someday.

Getting old is not so bad when you consider the alternative.

You search online for "You Know You're Old When..." jokes.

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